Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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