and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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