Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
