I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize