Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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