I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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