I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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