Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
