We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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