he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
