Kiss
Puke
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
