just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
