I must be too annoying 4 u.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Girls should come with a carfax report
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
