Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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