We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
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I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
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Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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