so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
