Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
