I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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