Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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