My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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