I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
