There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
