i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
