it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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