At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
