I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
