Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize