just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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