dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
