??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
