Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
