i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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