you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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