ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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