I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
