I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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