If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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