I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
