I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
