I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
