btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
