so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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