Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
