people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
