Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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