"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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