Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
