u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
