I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
