Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
