Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
