just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
