Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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