Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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