you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
