At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
