I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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