i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
