I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
