I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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