you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
