An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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